How does couples counselling work?
27 Jun 2023

How does couples counselling work?

How does couples counselling work?

When couples reach an impasse, and it seems that they can’t move forward together it can be beneficial to seek support from an independent person.

Couples counselling, also known as couples therapy, can be beneficial in various situations and whilst every couple’s needs are unique, here are some conditions where couples counselling can be particularly helpful:

Communication difficulties: Couples who struggle with communication, such as constant arguments, misunderstandings, or difficulty expressing their needs and emotions, can benefit from counselling. A therapist can help improve communication skills and establish healthier patterns of interaction.

Frequent conflicts and unresolved issues: If a couple frequently experiences conflicts that remain unresolved or if there are lingering issues that continue to cause tension and resentment, couples counselling can provide a safe and structured environment to address these concerns. Often couples argue about the same thing and it can be very depleting for a relationship. Therapy can help to address any underlying feelings about the argument that sometimes are not being expressed fully in a way that is hindering the reparation process.

Lack of emotional intimacy: Couples who feel emotionally disconnected or have difficulty expressing vulnerability and intimacy may find counselling valuable. A therapist can assist in exploring emotional barriers, rebuilding trust, and fostering deeper emotional connections.

Major life transitions or crises: Significant life events such as adult children leaving home, job loss or loss of interest in work, relocation, infidelity, or the loss of a loved one can strain a relationship. Couples counselling can provide support and guidance during these challenging times, helping couples navigate the changes and rebuild their relationship.

Sexual issues: Couples facing sexual difficulties, such as differences in desire, mismatched sexual needs, or challenges related to intimacy and satisfaction, can seek help through couples counseling. A therapist can address these concerns and help couples improve their sexual communication and intimacy. Midlife can be a time when you particularly notice changes in your body or are affected by hormonal fluctuation, both of which can affect self esteem and desire. Talking these realities through in a safe and supportive environment can help to create and enhance empathic understanding between couples.

Pre-marital counselling: Couples preparing for marriage for the second time may choose to undergo pre-marital counselling as a proactive measure. This type of counselling can help couples identify potential challenges, strengthen their bond, and establish a solid foundation for a healthy and fulfilling marriage.

Stagnation or dissatisfaction: I often hear people say how bored them are with their humdrum life and how hard it is to maintain enthusiasm, particularly in midlife. When a couple feels stuck, bored, or unfulfilled in their relationship, couples counselling can provide an opportunity for personal growth and relationship revitalisation. A therapist can help explore individual and shared goals, reignite passion, and improve overall relationship satisfaction.

It’s important to remember that seeking couples counselling is a positive proactive step to keeping a relationship vibrant and alive. If both partners are motivated to stay together and engage in the counselling process, along with finding a qualified and experienced therapist, then these are the crucial factors in creating the best conditions for couples counselling to be effective.

If you would like help with your individual midlife transition or how the two of you as a couple find direction together in the second half of life, why not read The Midlife Crisis Handbook or attend a course at The Midlife Academy.