Tips to spice up your sex life in a long term relationship or marriage

10 tips to spice up your sex life in a long term relationship or marriage.

By midlife, many people have been with their partners for over 20 years and during that time many couples have stopped having sex altogether. Intimacy and sex can be a valuable addition to a relationship and keeping the spark alive in a long-term marriage can require some creativity and effort, so here are ten tips to help spice up your sex life:

Open Communication: Talk openly and honestly with your partner about your desires, fantasies, and what you both enjoy in bed. Communication is key to understanding each other’s needs and preferences.

Try New Things: Explore new sexual activities or positions together. Be open to experimenting with different techniques or fantasies to keep things exciting. If you are short of ideas on what to do differently, there are new studies and articles on sexual activity in long term relationships on the internet and plenty of advice from well known and specialised psychotherapists on YouTube and Amazon. Today you can download courses by respected psychotherapists that you and your partner can work through together in the privacy of your own home if you don’t feel ready to see a counsellor.

Schedule Intimate Time: Set aside dedicated time for intimacy regularly. In the midst of busy schedules, prioritising intimate moments can help maintain a strong connection with your partner. If you don’t feel comfortable having sex after a period away from it, then consider scheduling time together to be close without the pressure of anything more happening so you can relax and enjoy just being together.

Surprise Each Other: Plan surprise romantic gestures or encounters to keep the excitement alive. This could be anything from leaving a suggestive note or sending flirty texts to planning a spontaneous romantic getaway.

Focus on Foreplay: Spend more time on foreplay to build anticipation and arousal. Experiment with different types of touch, kisses, and sensual massages to heighten pleasure.

Invest in Romance: Cultivate a romantic atmosphere in and out of the bedroom. Light candles, play soft music, or create a sensual ambiance to enhance intimacy. To feel wanted and desired can be transformative to a person’s sexual life and esteem.

Prioritise Self-Care: Take care of your physical and mental well-being, as it directly affects your libido and sexual confidence. Engage in activities that make you feel good about yourself, whether it’s regular exercise, meditation, or pursuing hobbies.

Role-Playing and Fantasy: Explore role-playing scenarios or indulge in shared fantasies to add a new dimension to your sex life. Dressing up or adopting different personas can ignite passion and excitement.

Learn Together: Attend workshops, read books, or watch educational videos about sex and intimacy together. Learning new techniques or understanding each other’s bodies better can lead to more satisfying experiences.

Keep Flirting Alive: Flirt with each other regularly, even outside of the bedroom. Text playful messages, engage in teasing banter, or flirt with suggestive glances to maintain a sense of attraction and anticipation.

Remember that every relationship is unique, so find what works best for you and your partner. Keep the lines of communication open and be willing to adapt and explore together to keep the passion alive in your marriage.